July 10, 2014
This time of year is, for me, a time of reflection.
And for the past five years, I have done this by the ocean.
This year, I have been reflecting on what makes me happy. Truly, deeply, simply happy. Not happy as a mother or a wife or a woman, but as a spiritual being.
It hasn’t been hard to identify these things, although it has been harder to express some of them with clarity, even to myself.
But here they are.
1. Being called Mummy.
My children are that bit older now, and “Mum” is their most frequent refrain. So when I hear “Mummy”, my heart swells with every emotion all at once. All the love and pride and thanks and hope and fear that I feel for my babes smashes together in a perfect moment.
2. The Ocean.
Children and husband aside, the ocean is my favourite thing. Whether walking by it, swimming in it, sailing on it, gazing upon it, or even simply imagining it, the ocean fills me with peace, wonder and clarity. I love plunging into cool, crystal waters; diving under crashing waves; tasting salt; being so small in such a vast space; and being cleansed – body and soul.
Whether its home alone, music blaring style; or in the car with the windows down and the volume up; or in a club; or just the slightest hint of a song playing in the distance that sweeps me up into a memory.
Running, dancing, walking, cleaning, standing at my desk. Being still leads to itchy feet; moving keeps me balanced.
This one has been a bit of a realization. I need to feel secure in order to feel happy. That is emotional, financial, and physical security, so quite a lot to manage at any given time. Mess with one of those and it deeply affects my psyche.
6. Doing things that count.
More and more often these days I find myself asking– “in 5 years, will anyone care?” De-prioritising those to which the answer is “no” is uplifting.
7. Looking through old photos.
Re-living memories reminds me that I am. Equally, making memories now makes me happy because I can foresee that future time when the now is so cherished.
8. Girls nights.
And all the carefree banter and stomach-aching-laughter that comes with them.
9. Rainy days.
I love a rainy day mainly because it gives me an excuse to stay inside and be lazy. And a rainy Sunday? Bliss!
10. Fresh bed sheets.
Even better following a shower after a busy day, or a late night. (Changing into track pants after a long work day has much the same effect!)